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Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:15:38 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Kuna mchepuko nilimtumia nauli jana ili aje,.kwang sasa leo kaniambia eti " nimesahau ile line yenye M-pesa home plz nitumie tena kwa tigo mpenz""!! Me nikajifanya chizi nikatuma Kule kule kwenye voda (aliosema kaacha home) Nikatuma huko message ivi "nikuongezee Sh. Ngapi tena mpenz..!!" Akanjbu "elfu 20,000 tu mpenzi" Mtuhurumie jamani πππ
Kilichompata huyu jamaa akiwa anaangalia mpira mechi kali na mke wake
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:18 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown?? HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja. WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red - Simama HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo. WIFE: Na je Green Card?? HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.
WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup. HUSBAND: [kimya] WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean?? HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger. WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger?? HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:08:18 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Sitasahau mwaka ule ambapo nilipeleka barua ya maombi yangu ya kazi kwenye kampuni moja maarufu. Wakati nasubiri majibu siku moja nikaenda kwa mama ntilie kununua maandazi akanifungia vizuri, kufika nyumbani hamu yote ya maandazi iliniishia pale nilipogundua karatasi iliyofungiwa maandazi ni barua yangu ya kuombea kaziππ
Soma huyu mtoto anachosema sasa, Ndoto za watoto bwana! Kazi ipo!
Mwalimu aliingia darasani na kuwauliza wanafunzi juu ya ndoto zao za baadae.
MWAL: John we unataka ukiwa mkubwa uwe nani?
JOHN: Nataka niwe daktari wa moyo niwasaidie watanzania wanaougua magonjwa ya moyo.
MWAL: vizuri. Na wewe Rose unataka kuwa nani?
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:28 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
Mwalimu aliingia darasani na kuwauliza wanafunzi juu ya ndoto zao za baadae. MWAL: John we unataka ukiwa mkubwa uwe nani? JOHN: Nataka niwe daktari wa moyo niwasaidie watanzania wanaougua magonjwa ya moyo. MWAL: vizuri. Na wewe Rose unataka kuwa nani?
ROSE: Nataka kuwa rubani, niweze kusaidia watu wanapenda kusafiri kw anga. MWAL: Safi sana Rose. Utakua utakua mfano kwa wasichana wenzio kuwa na bidii kwenye masomo ya sayansi. MWAL: Na wewe Nehemiah ?? Nehemiah : mimi nataka kuwa tajiri mkubwa sana. Niwe na nyumba Tanzania, S.Africa, Marekani na Dubai. Niwe na gari 7 za kutembelea. Kila siku nabadilisha. Leo nikipanda hii, siirudii hadi week iishe. Nataka niwe namiliki viwanda, Makampuni, ndege binafsi na mashamba makubwa. Nataka niwe na nguvu serikalini ya kuamua nani awe Rais na nani asiweβ¦β¦" Akameza mate kisha akaendeleaβ¦. "Nataka kuwa na walinzi 20 wenye silaha nzito wakinizunguka, na watumishi wakininyenyekea. Nataka kuwa bilionea ninayeogopwa. Lakini pia nataka kuwa na mke mzuuuri sana ambaye nitakuwa natembea nae kila mahali." MWAL: ndoto nzuri sn lakini unahitaji bidii sana kutimiza. Haya na wewe Jenny tueleze unataka kuwa nani?? JENNY: Nataka kuwa mke wa Nehemiah .!!
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:17:50 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mzee moja alikuwa kila usiku anapita mbele ya bank anasimama,kisha anapiga honi,akitoka askari mlinzi,anaondoka.Hilo jambo likamkera sana askari mlinzi, askari akawa na mvizia yule mzee wa kichaga ,siku alipokuja tena akamkamata, akamuuliza kwa nini unakuja unapiga honi kisha unakimbia? Mzee akasema: Haki ya mungu babaangu , Nina pesa zangu ktk account hapa bank naogopa usilale usingizi ndo maana kila siku usiku napita kukuangalia kama umelala!! ππππππ
