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Sidebar with Floating Button
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AckySHINE Katoliki
☰
AckyShine
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Vichekesho vya kukuondoa mawazo leo

Featured Image

Soma vichekesho hivi;

Mwizi wa atm

Jamaa aliibiwa kadi yake ya benk akaulizwa kama ameripoti polisi akajibu "sijaripoti bado, mwizi mwenyewe hamfikii matumizi kama mke wangu.

Cheka kidogo

Njia rahisi kusahau matatizo yako (japo kwa muda mfupi) vaa viatu vinavyokubana.

Mlizi mbio mbio

Tulikuwa bar moja jana mlinzi kaingia spidi, akamwambia jamaa mmoja aliyekaa kaunta, Mlinzi: Mzee gari lako limeibiwa Mzee: Umemtambua aliyeiba? Mlinzi: Hapana lakini nimeandika namba za gari hizi hapa.

13, 13…

Jamaa alikuwa anapita nje ya wodi ya vichaa akasikia mtu anasema, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,….. akaamua kuchungulia kwenye kitundu alichokiona ajue kuna nini, ile kuchungulia tu akamwagiwa mchanga wa machoni, sauti ikabadili ikaanza 14,14,14,14,14……

WATAALAM

Jamaa alikuwa anaumwa sana, mkewe akamwita daktari, alipofika akamkuta jamaa kafumba macho;
Dokta: Huyu mbona amekwisha kufa?
Jamaa: Sijafa bwana
Mke: Hebu nyamaza bwana acha kubishana na wataalamu.

Ya leo mgonjwa

Dokta alipotembelea wodi ya mgonjwa wake aliyepata ajali. Mgonjwa akiwa amening'inizwa mikono juu akauliza "dokta ntaweza kweli kupiga kinanda nkitoka hospitali?"
Dokta: Bila shaka utaweza, wewe ni mpiga kinanda mzuri enh?
Mgonjwa: Hapana sijawahi kabisa bado.

4WD

Mwanaume alimnunulia pete ya almasi mkewe, rafiki akauliza "si ulisema anapenda gari yenye four wheel drive, mbona umenunua pete?" Mume akajibu "unadhani wapi ntapata rav4 feki?"

Ajali ilivyotokea

Trafiki polisi akihoji palipotokea ajali "ahaa! Sasa naanza elewa embu nielezee jinsi ajali ilivyotokea wewe ukiwa kama dereva mhusika." Dereva akajibu "hata sikumbuki nlifumba macho"

Faini ya kukojoa

Polisi alimdaka jamaa anakojoa pembezoni mwa ukuta.
Polisi: Wewe unajua panakatazwa kukojoa hapa?
Jamaa: Sasa nimebanwa nifanyaje?
Polisi: Faini yake elfu tano.
Jamaa akatoa noti ya elfu 10.
Polisi: Sasa chenji tunaipataje?
Jamaa: Tafuta chenji unipe changu.
Polisi: Basi kojoa tena…

Mume anaenda kazini

Jamaa kaamka asubuhi sana Jumamosi, mvua inanyesha kang'ang'ania kuwa anaenda ofisini. Kawasha gari yake, kufika njiani hali ilikuwa mbaya kaamua kurudi. Kafika home kavua nguo kaingia tena kitandani, kamnong'oneza mkewe aliyekuwa usingizini; "Yaani hali ya hewa huko nje mbaya sana" Mke: Si ndio nimemshangaa huyu mpumbavu eti kaenda kazini…

Hasira za mtoto

Baba na mtoto:
Baba: Mwanangu ukiwa na hasira unafanya nini?
Mtoto: Naenda chooni.
Baba: Chooni? Kufanya nini?
Mtoto: Kusafisha.
Baba: Halafu ndio hasira zinaisha?
Mtoto: Ndio. Nasafisha choo kwa mswaki wako.

Mgonjwa na Dokta

Mgonjwa: Dokta nimekuja nahisi ninaumwa Malaria na kifua.
Dokta: Sasa ushajua unaumwa nini hapa umefuata nini kwangu?
Mgonjwa: Sasa si nimekuja kwa dokta.
Dokta: Wanaojua kuwa wanaumwa kama wewe wanapitiliza maabara.

Pilau la bachela

Bachela mmoja aliyekua akiishi kwa muda mrefu peke yake kwenye nyumba aliyopanga siku moja alitaka kupika pilau kwa mara ya kwanza. Sasa asijue nini kinachobadilisha rangi ya wali kuwa rangi ya brown, yeye akapika kama kawaida (wali) kisha wakati wa kula akavaa miwani yenye rangi ambayo ukiuangalia wali unauona kama pilau wakati anakula.

Mwizi na chizi

Mwizi kaiba TV na kuanza kukimbia nayo, kumbe ile nyumba mlikuwa na chizi, akaanza kumkimbiza yule mwizi. Kila mwizi akiongeza mbio chizi nae huyo, mwishowe mwizi akasalimu amri na kusimama, yule chizi akamsogelea na kumwambia.. Daah umesahau remote hii hapa mwizi kafleti.

Chemsha bongo

Baba akimuuliza chemsha bongo mwanae anayesoma shule ya chekechea "haya niambie kitu gani hakiwezi kuliwa wakati wa breakfast?" Mtoto akajibu "hiyo mbona rahisi baba, si lunch na dinner"

AckySHINE Solutions

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Comments

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Janet Sumaye (Guest) on April 23, 2017

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†

Irene Akoth (Guest) on March 25, 2017

πŸ˜„ Siwezi hata kupumua, ni kichekesho sana!

Nancy Kabura (Guest) on March 20, 2017

πŸ˜‚ Hii kichekesho imenifurahisha siku nzima!

Susan Wangari (Guest) on January 24, 2017

🀣 Hii imenifanya siku yangu iwe bora kabisa!

Kijakazi (Guest) on December 22, 2016

Nimependa hii! Endelea kuzileta! 😁

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on December 18, 2016

πŸ˜„πŸ˜…πŸ‘πŸ˜‚

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on December 12, 2016

πŸ˜† Ninacheka sana sasa hivi!

Grace Mligo (Guest) on December 11, 2016

Hii ni joke ya kipekee! πŸ€£πŸ‘Œ

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on October 23, 2016

Nimecheka hadi mbavu zinauma πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anna Kibwana (Guest) on October 6, 2016

Hii ni kichekesho kali sana, ninashiriki na kila mtu! πŸ˜‚

Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on October 2, 2016

πŸ€£πŸ˜­πŸ˜†

Samson Mahiga (Guest) on September 13, 2016

Hii kichekesho imebadilisha kabisa hali yangu! πŸ˜ƒ

Esther Nyambura (Guest) on September 6, 2016

πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜Š

Juma (Guest) on August 30, 2016

Asante Ackyshine

Victor Kimario (Guest) on August 28, 2016

🀣πŸ”₯😊

Frank Macha (Guest) on August 14, 2016

Hii ni joke ya maana sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

Fikiri (Guest) on August 6, 2016

πŸ˜† Naihifadhi hii!

Daniel Obura (Guest) on August 4, 2016

πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

Nancy Akumu (Guest) on July 3, 2016

Kweli mna kipaji cha ucheshi! πŸ‘πŸ˜†

Hassan (Guest) on June 29, 2016

πŸ˜… Nilihitaji kicheko hiki, asante!

Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on June 7, 2016

Nimecheka hadi nina furaha sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Samuel Omondi (Guest) on June 3, 2016

Hizi jokes ni za kipekee sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜Š

Faith Kariuki (Guest) on May 17, 2016

πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜„

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on May 16, 2016

Nimecheka kwa sauti! 🀣🀣

Lucy Mushi (Guest) on May 5, 2016

😁 Hakika hii ni kichekesho changu kipya!

Joseph Mallya (Guest) on April 21, 2016

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸ˜†

John Mushi (Guest) on April 14, 2016

πŸ˜„ Umeimaliza kabisa!

Joseph Kitine (Guest) on April 2, 2016

Haha, hii ni kicheko bora zaidi nilichopata wiki hii! 😁

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on March 5, 2016

Siwezi kusubiri kuieleza kwenye sherehe yangu inayofuata! πŸŽ‰

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on March 4, 2016

πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

Grace Njuguna (Guest) on February 18, 2016

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Umi (Guest) on February 2, 2016

🀣 Hii kichekesho ni nzuri sana!

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on January 8, 2016

Hii imenifurahisha hadi nacheka kwa sauti! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

John Mushi (Guest) on January 4, 2016

πŸ˜ƒ Hii imenichekesha kwa sauti kweli!

Charles Mboje (Guest) on December 23, 2015

πŸ˜‚ Sijacheka hivi kwa muda mrefu sana!

Alice Jebet (Guest) on December 23, 2015

Kweli mnajua kuchekesha! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Rose Amukowa (Guest) on December 15, 2015

Hii imenikumbusha kicheko cha zamani! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Mwafirika (Guest) on November 22, 2015

πŸ˜† Hiyo punchline ilikuwa kali!

Monica Nyalandu (Guest) on September 28, 2015

Kweli mna ucheshi wa kipekee! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Henry Mollel (Guest) on September 23, 2015

Hii imenikuna hadi nina furaha! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

Diana Mallya (Guest) on August 24, 2015

Hii ni ya maana sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

Richard Mulwa (Guest) on August 22, 2015

πŸ˜„ Kali sana!

Patrick Akech (Guest) on August 21, 2015

πŸ˜† Hii imenigonga kweli!

Rahma (Guest) on July 25, 2015

πŸ˜‚ Hii ni ya kuhifadhi!

Anna Mchome (Guest) on July 14, 2015

Hii ni joke ya ukweli kabisa! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Philip Nyaga (Guest) on July 10, 2015

Ucheshi wa hali ya juu! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Edith Cherotich (Guest) on July 2, 2015

πŸ˜† Kali sana!

Hamida (Guest) on June 28, 2015

Haha, hii ni ya kuhifadhi! πŸ“Œ

Jane Muthui (Guest) on June 12, 2015

πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜†

Mary Njeri (Guest) on June 4, 2015

Nimecheka hadi nimesahau shida zangu! πŸ˜…πŸ˜Š

Lydia Mzindakaya (Guest) on June 2, 2015

πŸ˜‚ Nitaiiba hii bila shaka!

Henry Sokoine (Guest) on May 23, 2015

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on May 9, 2015

😁 Hii ni dhahabu!

Rose Kiwanga (Guest) on April 28, 2015

Hii imenifurahisha hadi ninacheka kwa sauti! πŸ˜„πŸ˜…

George Mallya (Guest) on April 27, 2015

Hii imenibamba sana! πŸ˜…πŸ€£

Rabia (Guest) on April 4, 2015

πŸ˜… Nilihitaji kicheko hicho!

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