What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

Tabu (Guest) on December 19, 2015

My bank account is like a waterfall. Just constant flow... of money going away. 💸🏞️

Frank Sokoine (Guest) on December 18, 2015

Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish! 🥜🐙

Stephen Mushi (Guest) on December 14, 2015

Calories don’t count if you eat with friends. 🍰👯‍♂️

Edwin Ndambuki (Guest) on December 13, 2015

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas. 💡😎

Ann Wambui (Guest) on November 25, 2015

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 👀🧹

Victor Kimario (Guest) on November 21, 2015

Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💰

Kiza (Guest) on November 16, 2015

Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts! 📱👓

Warda (Guest) on November 13, 2015

Don’t make me adult today. 😬🧸

Dorothy Majaliwa (Guest) on November 9, 2015

I smile because I don’t know what’s going on. 😁🤷‍♂️

Rose Amukowa (Guest) on November 7, 2015

I like to pretend my dog understands me better than most humans. 🐕💬

Salma (Guest) on November 2, 2015

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. 🚉🤔

Salima (Guest) on October 28, 2015

I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea. 🥃☕

Anna Malela (Guest) on October 26, 2015

I'm not lazy; I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😆

Betty Kimaro (Guest) on October 26, 2015

I’ve started using my kids as weights. That counts as working out, right? 🏋️‍♂️👶

Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on October 26, 2015

I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed. 😴😂

Sarah Mbise (Guest) on October 18, 2015

😃 Mood instantly lifted!

Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on October 11, 2015

I wonder how many calories I burn by jumping to conclusions. 🤔🤸‍♂️

Rahma (Guest) on October 3, 2015

What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzz cuts! 🐝✂️

Rehema (Guest) on September 27, 2015

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. 🧍‍♂️🤷‍♀️

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on September 25, 2015

This joke is a keeper for sure! 😁

Nora Kidata (Guest) on September 25, 2015

What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops! 🐸🍭

Victor Kimario (Guest) on September 25, 2015

😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on September 16, 2015

I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow. ⏰😂

Shamim (Guest) on September 1, 2015

If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at people who are annoying. 🍋😂

Zainab (Guest) on August 29, 2015

Life is too short to remove USB safely. 🔌💻

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on August 27, 2015

I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 🛏️💇‍♂️

Francis Njeru (Guest) on August 18, 2015

Running late is my cardio. 🕒🏃‍♀️

Grace Wairimu (Guest) on August 18, 2015

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers! 🥷👟

Jackson Makori (Guest) on August 13, 2015

😄 You totally won the internet today!

Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on August 6, 2015

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie! 👻🥧

Kijakazi (Guest) on August 1, 2015

Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they don’t like bills! 🦆💵

Shani (Guest) on July 19, 2015

Why don’t vampires like garlic? It’s a pain in the neck! 🧛‍♂️🧄

David Sokoine (Guest) on July 18, 2015

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 🛏️💭

Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on July 18, 2015

They say 'don’t try this at home,' so I’m coming over to your house to try it. 🚶‍♂️🏡

Rose Lowassa (Guest) on July 17, 2015

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about eating, I’d be rich... and probably still hungry. 🍕💵

Sekela (Guest) on July 11, 2015

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort. 🏰🤣

Sharifa (Guest) on July 7, 2015

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. 💍😆

Samuel Omondi (Guest) on July 7, 2015

I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would be proud of me. 🍼😴

Rubea (Guest) on June 29, 2015

I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. I’m just glad it’s not a shot glass. 🥃🍹

Mchuma (Guest) on June 20, 2015

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% excuses. 🍩🙃

Latifa (Guest) on June 5, 2015

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️

Asha (Guest) on June 4, 2015

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up! 🛝🤣

Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 28, 2015

I run like the winded. 🏃‍♀️😮‍💨

Muslima (Guest) on May 22, 2015

Coffee: because adulting is hard. 😩☕

Philip Nyaga (Guest) on May 22, 2015

How does a taco say grace? Lettuce pray! 🌮🙏

Rose Kiwanga (Guest) on May 16, 2015

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you. 🤣📞

Zakia (Guest) on May 15, 2015

Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them! 👻😜

Joy Wacera (Guest) on May 8, 2015

I have a degree in sarcasm. 🎓😏

Mwajabu (Guest) on May 7, 2015

😁 Definitely my new go-to joke!

Martin Otieno (Guest) on May 4, 2015

😂 Sharing right away!

Asha (Guest) on May 4, 2015

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 🦩😂

Kahina (Guest) on May 3, 2015

I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger. ❤️🍔

John Malisa (Guest) on May 1, 2015

I hate when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong. 🎤🤷‍♀️

Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on April 30, 2015

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 🥃🕰️

George Wanjala (Guest) on April 29, 2015

What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver! 🐕📞

Violet Mumo (Guest) on April 20, 2015

What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple! 🐱💜

Nasra (Guest) on April 18, 2015

I’d give up sarcasm, but that leaves me speechless. 😏🤐

Ibrahim (Guest) on April 18, 2015

Why don’t skeletons go to scary movies? They don’t have the guts! 💀🎬

Victor Mwalimu (Guest) on April 17, 2015

Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales! 🐟⚖️

James Mduma (Guest) on April 17, 2015

What kind of music do mummies like? Wrap music! 🎶🧻