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Jamaa anayependa kuwafanyia watu uhuni leo kapatikana na huyu mdada
Updated at: 2024-05-25 16:59:17 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mdada alienda super-market kununua kuku, bahati mbaya kwenye frij kulikuwa na kuku mmoja tu, muuzaji akamtoa akamuweka kwenye mzani, akaonekana ana kilo moja na robo.
Mdada akamuuliza muuzaji,โHuna mkubwa zaidi?โ Muuzaji akamchukua yule kuku na kujifanya kamrudisha kwenye friji, halafu akamtoa tena kwenye friji na kumrudisha kwenye mzani, safari hii akagandamiza mzani kwa gumba, kuku akaonekana ana kilo mbili. Mdada akasema โDuh afadhali huyu mkubwa kidogo,ย naomba unifungie nawachukua wote wawiliโ
Mamaaaaa muuzaji sijui atatoa wap kuku wa pili๐
๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ Hapo ndipo utagundua kwa nini MUWA co TUNDA ๐ถ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ฝ
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:01:17 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Nipo kwenye daladala siti ya nyuma kabisa nimekaa na mrembo mzurii.sasa nikawa namtongoza kwa sauti ya chini sana watu wengine wasiskie,akawa hanijibu kitu,mala gafra akapayuka kwanguvu na kwa sauti ya juu iliyomshtua kila mtu.โ โ"Nimesema stakii,stakii tena unikome"โ๐ณ๐ณ
โNami nikamjibu kwa sauti ya juu vile vileโ โ"Kama umejamba nisikwambie bhanaa,kwani ww nani?"โโน
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โโMIMI SIO MTU WA MCHEZO MCHEZOโ Sipendag ujuinga mim
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:03:30 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Bosi wangu karudi safari yake kutoka serengeti..! Si akanitumia picha, lakini ilikuwa network yenyewe tabu.. kwahio picha haikufunguka na kwa vile niliona itachelewa kufunguka na ataona sikumjibu basi nami..
Nikampelekea msg nikamuandikia umependeza saana bosi mashaallahโฆ!! sasa baada tu ya kumfika msg.. na huku picha ikafunguka kumbe picha ya Sokwe..!! Basi Kaniambia kesho niende ofsini kwake kuna barua yangu.. Nahisi hyo barua ina pesa, hapa cjalala, nmekosa usingizi kabisa,nawaza ninunulie nn hyo pesa.Na kesho asubuhi sa 12 asubuhi atanikuta ofisini kwake naisubiri barua, sipendagi ujinga mimi.
Alichokisema mwizi baada ya kushinda bahati nasibu
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:06:08 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Hapa mtaani kuna mwizi sugu ameshinda mil.10 za bahati nasibu ??. Alipoulizwa atafanya nini na hela nyingi hizo Akasema anataka kupanua shughuli zake. Mimi sijamuelewa na sasa hivi watu wameanza kuhama mtaaโฆ ๐๐
Kilichotokea kwa binti na mvulana wake walipotaitishwa na baba yake msichana
Msichana alikuwa amekaa na baba yake kibarazani, mara akamuona MVULANAfriend wake akija, yule mvulana alipokaribia tu, yule msichana akamwambai:
MSICHANA: Umekuja kuchukua kile kitabu chako, kinachoitwa "DADDY IS AT HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:52:21 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
Msichana alikuwa amekaa na baba yake kibarazani, mara akamuona MVULANAfriend wake akija, yule mvulana alipokaribia tu, yule msichana akamwambaia:
MSICHANA: Umekuja kuchukua kile kitabu chako, kinachoitwa "DADDY IS AT HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor MVULANA: Hapana!, Nimekuja kuazima kitabu cha Maombi kama kinaitwa "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?" by Ngลฉgฤฉ wa Thiong'o MSICHANA: Aaah! Icho sina ila ninacho kimoja kinaitwa "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" by Chimamanda Adichie MVULANA: Ooh! Vizuri, Basi usisahau kuja nacho kesho kitabu cha Okot p'Bitek kile kinachoitwa "CALL ME IN 5 MINUTES BEFORE" Utakapokuja shule. MSICHANA: Usijali, tena nina kitabu kipya kinaitwa "I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by Chinua Achebe Baba mtu akawatazamaaaa kisha akasema BABA: Vitabu vyote hivyo, mbona vingi sana, atavisoma vyote kweli MSICHANA: Ndio Daddy, huyu mvulana hupo smart sana na ana akili atavisoma vyote hivyo! BABA: Sawa! Usisahau kumpatie na kile ambacho nimekiweka pale juu ya meza, kinaitwa "I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by Shakespeare! Na kuna kingine nimekiweka juu ya kabati la vyombo, kinaitwa "IF YOU GOT PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED"
Boss mmoja aliingia kazini kwake kasahau kufunga zipu ya suruali yake sasa secretary wake akamfuata na mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
SECRETARY: Boss leo umesahau kufunga geti nyumbani kwakoโฆ
Boss akabaki anashangaaโฆ Baadae wakati anakwenda chooni kujisaidia ile anataka kufungua zipu akaikuta iko wazi ndio akajua alichokuwa ameambiwa na Secretary wake.
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:03:43 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Boss mmoja aliingia kazini kwake kasahau kufunga zipu ya suruali yake sasa secretary wake akamfuata na mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
SECRETARY: Boss leo umesahau kufunga geti nyumbani kwakoโฆ
Boss akabaki anashangaaโฆ Baadae wakati anakwenda chooni kujisaidia ile anataka kufungua zipu akaikuta iko wazi ndio akajua alichokuwa ameambiwa na Secretary wake.
Akarudi mpaka kwa secretary na mazungumzo yakaendelea:
BOSS: Bibie ulivyoona geti wazi je uliona benz langu lime paki auโฆ?
SECRETARY: Hapana Boss niliona kitoroli kidogo kimepaki kina matairi mawili
Angalia huyu house girl wa mzungu alichokifanya na anachokisema
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:11:31 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
House girl mmoja alipewa kazi na mzungu mara akavunja sahani. Mzungu aliporejea,kazin akamuuliza 'what happened to my plate? House girl akajbu: 'The dog wow wow friji paaa, mchuzi mwaaaa the vyombo pangalapangala the sahan ngelengenjeeโฆโฆthe pasuka paaaaaaaa ๐๐๐๐hadi saiz mzungu bado anasoma dictionary hajui lugha gani imetumika
