Log in to access your menu with tools for managing 📝 tasks, 👥 clients, 💰 finances, 📖 learning, 🔍 personal growth, and 🌟 spirituality, all in one place!.
Welcome to AckySHINE, your go-to platform for personal growth, productivity, and well-being, offering tools tailored to organize your life, manage finances, and deepen your journey.
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:54:11 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Kama umesoma st Kayumba utakuwa una aidia na haya…
1.Unaenda shule umechelewa unakuta mwalim anakamata wachelewaj unaamua urudi nyumbani 2.unachukua kimbegu cha ubuyu unasugua sakafuni af unamuunguza mwenzio 3.mkiruhusiwa tu unakimbia unataka uwe wa kwanza kwenye njia yenu y kurudia nyumban 4.MTU akikukera unamfungia shule (mnapigana baada ya kufunga shule) 5.MTU akikunyima kitu chake unamwambia "Ahaa eeh utaona sa nne" 6.wadada wembamba ndo wanaongoza kwa kusuta wenzao 7.ukiibiwa daftar jipya unalia kuliko hata uliloandika 8.unajaza mapeni kwenye mkebe(compass) na mengine hayaandiki 9.vifaa vingine kwenye mkebe hujawahi hata kuvitumia mfano bikari labda utolee mwiba😂 10.hakuna habari nzur kama kuambiwa Leo hamna shule mwalim haupo 11.habari mbaya zaidi n kurud nyumban kutoka shule una njaa af unaambiwa chakula mgeni kaja tumempa 12.mtoto wa mwalim utamgundua tu kwanzia sweta begi na viatu vyake 13.usiombee umpige mtoto wa mwalim utataman uache shule 14.unatengeneza kifutio cha ndala af unatishia eti kinafuta hadi peni😂 15.ukaguzi na huna ufagio.. unaomba chelewa kwa watu af unaongeza kijiti katikati 16.siku ukienda na ufagio wanakagua maji, ukienda na naji wanakagua kuni au mbolea😆 😂 Dah shule zetu hizi kiboko!!
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:52:36 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
_Sheria inasema kila anaetembea na chombo cha moto barabarani sharti awe na leseni._ _Sasa hawa wauza kahawa mbona wanatembea na chombo cha moto lakini hawakamatwi 😡._ _Hizi sheria zinapendelea._ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Angalia hawa wadada walivyoumbuliwa, Huyu kasuku jeuri kweli
Kasuku alisimama mlango wa kuingia supermarket wakapita wanawake watatu akasema nyeupe, nyekundu, kijani. Wale wanawake wakatatizika baada ya mda wakajua ni chupi walizovaa. Wakasema basi kesho tubadilisheni. Siku ya pili wakapita tena kasuku akasema nyeusi, manjano, zambarau.
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:01:56 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Kasuku alisimama mlango wa kuingia supermarket wakapita wanawake watatu akasema nyeupe, nyekundu, kijani. Wale wanawake wakatatizika baada ya mda wakajua ni chupi walizovaa. Wakasema basi kesho tubadilisheni. Siku ya pili wakapita tena kasuku akasema nyeusi, manjano, zambarau. Loh! Wanawake wakastaajabu sana. Wakasema lazima wamshinde yule kasuku kwa hekima. Wakaambiana basi kesho tusivae chupi tuone kama ni kweli anaona mpaka ndani. Siku ilipowadia wakapita mbele ya kasuku akasema- kipilipili, kipara, rasta…
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:46:22 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mtalii: Do you have vegetables here. Mtafsiri: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa. Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna. Mtafsiri: No sir, they don't have. Mtalii: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs. Mtafsiri: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto. Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa. Mtafsiri: They don't cook here Mtalii: What type of snacks do you have here. Mtafsiri: Aina ngapi ya nyoka mnao hapa, Waiter: We bwana we hapa hatupiki aina yeyote ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao. Mtafsiri: They don't cook any type of snacks here, maybe you can go back and eat at home. Mtalii: OK, at least give us a cocktail juice. Mtafsiri: OK, tupatie hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo. Waiter: Hebu tokeni na bangi zenu hapa, tena sasa hivi kabla sijakasirika. Mtafsiri: Lets get out of here 😝😝😝😂😂😂 Usicheke pekeyako
Kilichotokea baada ya babu mzee kuibiwa nauli kwenye daladala
Updated at: 2024-05-25 16:54:48 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mzee mmoja alipanda Gari Stend; Wakati wa kugombania Siti, Akaibiwa Nauli.
Akasimama katikati ya Gari-Akasema; "Jamani Naomba Aliyeniibia Pesa yangu Arudishe Haraka, Tena Fasta kabla Sijafanya Tukio kama Nililofanya 1977" Abiria kuskia hivyo wakaogopa. Ikabidi Mwizi Ajitokeze, Akarudisha Pesa na Kuomba Msamaha! Mtu Mmoja akauliza, Mzee, Kwani 1977 Ulifanya nn? Si nilienda kwa Miguu mpaka Nyumbani! Uscheke Peke Yako, wa2mie na wengine ili nao wacheke!
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:50:48 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
CHEKA KIDOGO Majambaz waliliteka gar moja lililokua limeshehen abiria Baada ya abiria kusachiwa na majambaz hao na kukutwa hawana pesa, majambaz wakasema kila m2 atapigwa viboko (bakora) kutokana na namba ya shati alilovaa Aliyekua hana namba atasalimika Kaz ikaanza, jamaa alievaa jez ya ROONEY wa Man U akapigwa fimbo 10, mwengine alievaa nguo ya 50cent akapigwa 50, n.k, sasa kwa pemben kulikua na jamaa analia sn yaani kila akijiangalia, kumbe alikua amevaa fulana limeandikwa LOWASA 2015 duuuh! Unajua kilichotokea ngoja niweke cm chaji kwanza.
Kilichotokea baada ya mzungu na mbongo kukaa siti moja, bongo wasanii wengi
Mzungu akamdharau sana Mbongo nakujiona anajua kila kitu duniani!,
Akamwambia Mbongo waulizane maswali na Mbongo akishindwa anatoa sh.500 na endapo yeye atashindwa atatoa 100,000/=.
Mzungu akauliza ni nchi ipi ilishindwa kwenye vita kuu ya kwanza ya Dunia?
Mbongo akatoa 500 kuashiria hajui.
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:06:39 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mzungu akamdharau sana Mbongo nakujiona anajua kila kitu duniani!,
Akamwambia Mbongo waulizane maswali na Mbongo akishindwa anatoa sh.500 na endapo yeye atashindwa atatoa 100,000/=.
Mzungu akauliza ni nchi ipi ilishindwa kwenye vita kuu ya kwanza ya Dunia?
Mbongo akatoa 500 kuashiria hajui.
Na yeye akamuuliza Mzungu ni kitu gani kikienda juu kina miguu minne na kikirudi chini kina miguu mitatu?
Mzungu akafikiria akakosa jibu akatoa 100,000/= kuashiria hajui ila akataka kujua, akauliza ni nini hicho?
Mbongo akatoa 500 kuashiria hata yeye hajui!.
SHARE na marafiki kama umemkubali Mbongo kwa ujanja. Lakini unafikiri Mbongo huyu kwa akili hizi atakuwa ametokea mkoa gani!?.
