What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Thomas Mwakalindile (Guest) on January 26, 2017

Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates! 📅🛋️

Martin Otieno (Guest) on January 14, 2017

Why don’t skeletons go to parties? They have no body to dance with! 🦴🎉

Zulekha (Guest) on January 12, 2017

You know you’re getting old when your candles cost more than your cake. 🎂🔥

Zubeida (Guest) on December 26, 2016

I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. 🧠🤯

Mwakisu (Guest) on December 26, 2016

😅 I’m still laughing!

Salum (Guest) on December 16, 2016

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. 🤷‍♂️😆

Diana Mallya (Guest) on December 7, 2016

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! 🐑🐝

Carol Nyakio (Guest) on December 7, 2016

😆 Saving this one!

Omari (Guest) on December 1, 2016

I don’t need a mood ring; I have a face. 😐💬

Anthony Kariuki (Guest) on December 1, 2016

I wasn’t born to 'just get things done'—I was born to confuse people with my nonsense. 🤯🤪

Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on November 30, 2016

Why don’t basketball players ever go on vacation? They’re afraid of traveling! 🏀✈️

Sharon Kibiru (Guest) on November 11, 2016

Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I trip over my own feet. 🤦‍♂️🤣

Lydia Wanyama (Guest) on November 11, 2016

😃 Instant mood boost!

Mtumwa (Guest) on November 5, 2016

What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver! 🐕📞

Maneno (Guest) on October 31, 2016

I need six months of vacation, twice a year. 🏖️😂

David Ochieng (Guest) on October 15, 2016

🤣 Sharing this right now!

Josephine Nekesa (Guest) on October 5, 2016

Why are spiders great at websites? Because they’re always catching bugs! 🕷️💻

Catherine Naliaka (Guest) on September 23, 2016

What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador! 🐕✨

Leila (Guest) on September 19, 2016

🤣 I’m literally dying of laughter!

Nancy Kabura (Guest) on September 19, 2016

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card! 🐃💳

Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on September 11, 2016

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! 💵❄️

John Mushi (Guest) on September 8, 2016

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work! 🐄🔔

Violet Mumo (Guest) on September 4, 2016

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems. 📚😭

Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on August 31, 2016

If you can't remember my name, just say 'chocolate' and I'll turn around. 🍫🙋‍♀️

Robert Okello (Guest) on August 30, 2016

If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴

Faith Kariuki (Guest) on August 24, 2016

This joke just made my day—hilarious! 🤣

Frank Sokoine (Guest) on August 10, 2016

Why was the broom late for work? It swept in! 🧹⏰

Rahim (Guest) on July 31, 2016

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof! 👷‍♂️🏗️

Husna (Guest) on July 27, 2016

The best part of going to work is coming back home. 🏡💼

Joyce Nkya (Guest) on July 24, 2016

This joke deserves an award! 🏆

Kiza (Guest) on July 17, 2016

Wine is to women as duct tape is to men—it fixes everything. 🍷😂

Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on July 15, 2016

I don’t procrastinate; I reschedule. 🗓️😜

James Kimani (Guest) on July 12, 2016

Calories don’t count if you eat with friends. 🍰👯‍♂️

Diana Mumbua (Guest) on June 28, 2016

How does a lion greet other animals? Pleased to eat you! 🦁🍽️

Anthony Kariuki (Guest) on June 25, 2016

Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they don’t like bills! 🦆💵

Nassor (Guest) on June 19, 2016

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. 🤷‍♂️😎

Moses Mwita (Guest) on June 18, 2016

The bags under my eyes are Chanel. 👜😂

Jackson Makori (Guest) on June 16, 2016

Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because they’re transparent! 👻🤥

Lydia Wanyama (Guest) on June 12, 2016

I put the 'pro' in procrastination. 🏆😴

Edwin Ndambuki (Guest) on June 11, 2016

I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days. 🗓️🍔

Joseph Njoroge (Guest) on June 6, 2016

😂 Can’t wait to share this!

Lydia Mzindakaya (Guest) on May 31, 2016

I don't trip over things; I do random gravity checks. 🌍😅

Abdullah (Guest) on May 28, 2016

If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙

Simon Kiprono (Guest) on May 25, 2016

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% excuses. 🍩🙃

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on May 17, 2016

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅

Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on April 20, 2016

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. 😴😆

David Musyoka (Guest) on April 18, 2016

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯🤪

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on April 16, 2016

😁 This is gold!

Raphael Okoth (Guest) on April 13, 2016

I’m on a 24-hour coffee break. ☕⏳

Peter Mbise (Guest) on April 10, 2016

This joke was on point! Love it! 🎯

Stephen Mushi (Guest) on April 2, 2016

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke! 🏠🚭

Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on April 1, 2016

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 😬🧸

Grace Njuguna (Guest) on March 27, 2016

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court? Odor in the court! 🦨⚖️

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on March 18, 2016

😁 Added to my favorites!

Husna (Guest) on March 9, 2016

🤣 This joke is just too good!

Mwajuma (Guest) on March 7, 2016

If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream right now. 🍦💸

James Mduma (Guest) on February 24, 2016

I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 💔😂

Wilson Ombati (Guest) on February 12, 2016

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️

Grace Majaliwa (Guest) on February 12, 2016

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. 📚😆

Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on February 11, 2016

Hilarious! This one’s going into my favorites! 😄